This is appropriate fare for a Friday; the major players of Paramount Pictures’ G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA (I get tired of typing that, I do) captured in moments of what could be (a) immense pain, (b) sudden and violent evacuation of bowels, or (c) an aftereffect of the nearby opening of the Ark of the Covenant.  Without further ado:

Channing Tatum (or Tatum Channing, I can never remember) is Duke

Sienna "I Heart Pittsburgh" Miller is the Baronness

Dennis Quaid is Duke

Marlon Wayans is Ripchord or Gung-Ho or something

Christopher Eccleston is Destro

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is Cobra Commander