Sorry folks, I’ve been so busy wrangling zombies for our ZOMBIELAND Zombie Walk, I’ve neglected today’s DVD releases … and boy howdy, what a weird set of releases.  You’ve got a classic cartoon from the ’80s, a woman-hating Italian gorefest, an obscure Spanish thriller, and a sequel released on DVD prior to the original film.  Well, without further ado, here’s what you can find in stores today:

September 29th, 2009
- The Real Ghostbusters: The Complete Collection – Despite the theatrical release of the first GHOSTBUSTERS a little over twenty-five years ago, there seems to have been a substantial groundswell in mainstream interest as of late for New York’s resident parapsychologists; consider not only the release of the Ghostbusters video game and the merchandising being pumped out by leading toymaker Mattel, but even Columbia Pictures’ development of a third GHOSTBUSTERS film.  Whatever the reason for this sudden phenomenon, the release of all 147 episodes of this long-running cartoon series is a very pleasing result, and rather than gratuitously staggering DVD releases over a period of years in order to drain consumers of as much money as possible (see home video tactics for “Batman: The Brave and The Bold,” “The Spectacular Spider-Man,” “The Muppet Show,” and countless others), we’re getting one massive, monolithic boxed set containing so much sheer Ghostbusters, it’ll likely cause the fire and brimstone to come down from the skies, rivers and seas boiling, forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes, the dead rising from the grave, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together … mass hysteria.  With a hefty MSRP of $179.99, you get 147 episodes on 35 discs packed into a deluxe firehouse collector’s box with lenticular panels and five separate steel DVD cases along with twelve hours of bonus material.  Inevitably, this classic animated series will drop in price, as this is likely a must-have for only the most hardened fans, but word is that this is a complete collection boxed set that won’t disappoint.

- THE STEPFATHER II – With Screen Gems’ remake of THE STEPFATHER only weeks away from theatrical release, it only makes sense to release the franchise’s previous films on DVD in hopes of capitalizing on the public’s insatiable love for domestic horror.  In this sequel – inexplicably released prior to the original film, which won’t be on DVD until October 13^th – the titular sociopath escapes from a sanitarium and shacks up with another single mother who also just happens to have an overly suspicious son.  Terry O’Quinn reprises his role and stars alongside Meg Foster (co-star of John Carpenter’s THEY LIVE and Evil-Lyn in the Dolph Lundgren MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE film) and the star of LADYBUGS and television’s “SeaQuest DSV,” Jonathan Brandis.  Granted, this sequel wasn’t as warmly-received as the original, but luckily, Synapse Films has included special features, among them deleted and alternate scenes and a brand-new featurette.

- THE HANGING WOMAN – I know precious little about this 1973 Spanish horror film aside from the fact that it also bore the titles THE GLASS JUNGLE, TERROR OF THE LIVING DEAD, THE ORGY OF THE DEAD, RETURN OF THE ZOMBIES, THE HANGING WOMEN, and BEYOND THE LIVING DEAD.  Prolific crap actor Paul Naschy makes an appearance, too, but try to find me a low-budget Spanish horror-cum-exploitation film without him, am I right?  On the plus side, this DVD also includes another Spanish horror film, THE SWEET SOUND OF DEATH.  The plot seems a little schizophrenic, lumping together Satanists and zombies in the midst of 19^th century Scotland at the behest of an out-of-towner arriving to claim his substantial inheritance.  View at your own risk, folks – these foreign skid row horrors can be a bit sluggish to say the least.

- THE NEW YORK RIPPER, The Special Edition – Italian auteur and gorehound icon Lucio Fulci directed and co-wrote this blood-soaked yarn of a Donald Duck-voiced serial killer stalking the streets of the Big Apple.  In all fairness, Fulci’s films are frequently loosely strung together vignettes of brutal, gut-wrenching violence often garnished with the slightest hint of sexuality; more so than even fellow giallo director Dario Argento, Fulci’s films often feel creepily akin to violent pornography, lingering on the female form before rending it asunder in some spectacularly sloppy fashion.  THE NEW YORK RIPPER is no different, introducing us to beautiful women and soon thereafter relishing in their grisly demise.  In this film alone, you can see a man get his face blown off, a woman stabbed to death, a woman have her throat slit, a woman have one of her eyes slit open by a razor blade, and, oh yes, a woman sodomized and stabbed to death with a broken bottle.  This Blue Underground disc features the film uncut and uncensored along with a few special features, but be forewarned: THE NEW YORK RIPPER isn’t exactly the apex of Fulci’s work – if you can stomach the blood-soaked misogyny, it might be the titular killer’s Donald Duck-inspired voice that makes THE NEW YORK RIPPER especially unbearable.

To kick-off the theatrical release of ZOMBIELAND on Friday, October 2nd, we’re going to have a special feature for our exclusive advance screening the night before – the first-of-its-kind ZOMBIELAND Zombie Walk through Bricktown! 

That’s right, we’re recruiting a few good brain-eaters to join the ranks of the undead.  We’ll be meeting up around 6:30PM at a small, benched park area at NE 2nd and North Oklahoma Avenue, where we’ll prepare any participants without zombie make-up already on, and head through Bricktown to the Harkins Bricktown 16 to enjoy our advance screening of ZOMBIELAND thanks to a completely reserved section of seats exclusively for our zombified patrons!

As if that weren’t enough, the twenty-five participants who register through this website will receive a free ZOMBIELAND tee-shirt!

So – if you:
(1)  Can meet at about 6:30PM on Thursday, October 1st, at NE 2nd and North Oklahoma Avenue in Bricktown
(2) Can Arrive either in full zombie make-up or allow us to apply zombie make-up upon your arrival
(3) Are older than 17 years of age (after all, ZOMBIELAND is rated R)
(4) Want to earn a free, exclusive ZOMBIELAND tee-shirt

All you need to do is send me an e-mail to register to participate in the ZOMBIELAND Bricktown Zombie Walk: RBaker@moroch.com

After getting some great names from everyone, I’m happy to announce our randomly generated winner:

RON, with Killy Idol and Pamela Slamderson!

Ron, we’ll be in touch soon to get your address. Congratulations!

Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut, WHIP IT, opens next week. The film features the world of roller derby, and stars Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Juliette Lewis, and Kristen Wiig. So in honor of the awesomeness that is WHIP IT, we’re doing a giveaway.

One lucky person will win a WHIP IT prize pack, consisting of three WHIP IT cups, t-shirts for him and her, the book the film is based on (Whip It by Shauna Cross), and buttons featuring many of the roller derby characters in the film.

In roller derby, each girl has an “alter ego,” their roller derby name. The main character in WHIP IT, Bliss, becomes Babe Ruthless. Other names in the film include Rosa Sparks, Bloody Holly, Iron Maven, the Manson Sisters, Smashley Simpson, and Maggie Mayhem.

So our challenge to you: If you want to win, please post a comment on this blog entry and tell us what YOUR roller derby name should be! You have all weekend to think about this: Sometime after 9:00 AM on Monday morning I will randomly draw a winner from everyone who posted their roller derby name. Please do not post your address in the comments! Any comments with a mailing address will be deleted. If you win, we will get your address by e-mail. Also, comments that do not have your roller derby name will not be considered as contest entries!

The contest is open to anyone in the United States who is a fan of WHIP IT! I’ll send this stuff anywhere, so even if you’re not in Oklahoma, feel free to enter! I will post the winner here and on Twitter on Monday.

Have a great weekend, and don’t forget to catch a sneak of WHIP IT Saturday evening! Everyone who buys a ticket to WHIP IT this Saturday will get a free t-shirt at the theatre while supplies last. Go to www.whip-it.net to see where WHIP IT is playing on Saturday.

With the release of Disney’s first big animated film The Princess and the Frog fast approaching, I thought I’d throw something up here about their next big animation project, Rapunzel, due to hit theatres December 10, 2010.

There’s no doubt that Rapunzel will add to Disney’s already-impressive Princess Arsenal, joining ranks with Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine, Cinderella, Belle, and Ariel. There will be dolls, dresses, wigs, tiaras, horses for the doll to ride, and photo ops at all the Disney theme parks. And yes, I admit it: I have a personal interest in seeing Rapunzel at Disney World. How will Disney’s cosuming department figure in 70 feet of hair while roaming the Magic Kingdom? I think that might be an engineering feat to rival Disney’s famed animatronics.

Anyway, back to the movie: Mandy Moore has officially signed on to voice Rapunzel, and at the recent D23 Fan Expo, Walt Disney Animation Chief Creative Office John Lasseter revealed a few things about the film: First, there will be some differences from the older Disney princesses in that Rapunzel is an independent figure able to take care of herself. The traditional fairy tale about Rapunzel waiting in the tower for her prince? Doesn’t happen. She goes on an adventure, she has a “been there, done that” attitude with the men who say the famous line and ask to climb her hair, and the hair can be used as a weapon even (yeah, seriously..). But like all Disney princesses, she also sings. And with Moore on board with this project, I have no doubt that the singing will (thankfully) be good.

Rapunzel also marks a milestone for Disney because it will be Disney’s 50th feature-length animated film. It also is their first computer-animated fairy tale, so expect some big fanfare for this film. And the good news? Disney knows their animation, and they know how to do it well. And for that fact, I have high hopes for this film.

Director Kenneth Branagh has added two more actors to the growing cast of his adaptation of the Marvel Comics-based Asgardian epic, THOR; already, Branagh has plucked Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston out of relative obscurity to fill the weighty roles of the titular God of Thunder and his sinister half-brother, Loki, God of mischief, alongside veteran and geek favorite Natalie Portman as romantic interest, nurse Jane Foster.  Now, Jaimie Alexander steps in as Sif, a powerful Asgardian female warrior, and the remarkably awesome Colm Feore in a role the Hollywood Reporter described as “shrouded in mystery.” 

Personally, I think this project has a lot of promise; Branagh’s previous directorial efforts demonstrate his penchant for opulent sets and art design, both of which will be absolutely requisite in capturing the realm of Asgard, where Gods and Goddess live alongside mythical creatures and magic.  The addition of Feore, however, is really exciting, as Feore hasn’t really had much mainstream exposure despite his fantastic turns in films like TITUS and THIRTY-TWO SHORT FILMS ABOUT GLENN GOULD, as well as television fare such as the Stephen King mini-series STORM OF THE CENTURY or one of the most recent seasons of the Fox series 24.  He’s chewed scenery before in the problematic but underrated CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK, too, but more importantly, Feore, along with primary antagonist Tom Hiddleston, brings a caliber of acting pretty uncommon for comic book movies.  It also doesn’t hurt it looks as though he’s channeling Peter Cushing in the above picture.

THOR is growing more and more into a project into keep your eye on; there’s a lot of promise already being shown, and this really out, that’s a very, very good sign.

The New York Metropolitan Museum of Art will feature the work of artist and director Tim Burton through April of 2010, and in celebration, Harper’s Bazaar recruited photographer Tim Walker to shoot a lovely series of Burton’s weird, Gothic Halloween high fashion. 

You can view the full slideshow of all fourteen images along with the staggeringly expensive fashion breakdowns at the Harper’s Bazaar website.

Like most red-blooded Americans, you’re likely looking forward to the October 2nd theatrical release of Columbia Pictures’ ZOMBIELAND.  You’re confident in your love of all things gore-splattered; you’ve likely worn out copies of EVIL DEAD, played through RESIDENT EVIL on all difficulties, thought SHAUN OF THE DEAD was “a real knee-slapper.”  But what about all the zombie movies you haven’t seen? 

Here are six great, albeit too oft-overlooked, zombie flicks you should check out if you’re in the mood for a night chock full of exploding zombie heads and creamy, bloody gut-feasting.  Additionally, you can follow me on Twitter (Filmbaker) as well as ZOMBIELAND (Zombieland) and ZOMBIELAND’s director, Ruben Fleischer (RubenFleischer), so you can make sure you get the lowdown on ZOMBIELAND news as well as our Oklahoma City and Tulsa free advance screenings and giveaways.  So pull up a chair and prepare to chow down!

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1990) – For all the flack remakes take nowadays – particular remakes of classic films – let us not forget that there have been more than a fair share of remakes that trump the original (John Carpenter’s THE THING, John Huston’s THE MALTESE FALCON, William Wyler’s BEN-HUR).  NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD ’90, for me, is one of those films; it retains all the underlying social commentary and claustrophobia of the original, but the modern aesthetic fits more neatly with sequels DAWN OF THE DEAD and DAY OF THE DEAD, respectively.  Moreover, both the performances and special effects are vastly superior, not to mention an especially eerie soundtrack.  I think NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD ’90 manages to make coherently make the socio-political points better than Romero’s original while boasting a more polished sensibility without collapsing into paper-thin, in-name-only cash-grab studio remake territory.  After all, Romero himself served as executive producer, and one of the driving purposes behind this remake was the hope the creators – including Romero – would finally see some profit off of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, as the original film wasn’t properly copyrighted and thus lapsed into the nebulous netherworld of public domain.

DEAD ALIVE – If your introduction to Peter Jackson happened thanks to the LORD OF THE RINGS series, you are indeed in for a treat.  Everyone’s favorite Kiwi director (sorry, Jane Campion) had a body of work so utterly insane it has to be seen to be believed.  Take, for instance, Jackson’s debut, BAD TASTE, which concerns the disappearance of a small New Zealand town, the citizens quietly converted to food for a marauding legion of aliens bent on establishing a fast food chain with human flesh on the menu.  Jackson’s follow-up, MEET THE FEEBLES, is a tale of a Muppet-esque variety show repertory that abuses drugs, performs unspeakable sexual acts, commits murder, has Vietnam War flashbacks, and contracts horrible STDs.  And then, there’s DEAD ALIVE, a deft mix of humor, horror, and, oh yes, gallons upon gallons of fake blood, splattered brains, dismembered limbs, exploding zombies, karate-chopping priests, bursting zombie pustules, lawnmower massacres, and a stop-motion animation Sumatran rat-monkey.  If ever there were a throne for splatter films, indeed, DEAD ALIVE would undoubtedly claim that honor.

NIGHT OF THE CREEPS – This 1986 cult classic will finally hit DVD next month, but I daresay it’s worth the wait.  A horrible alien menace is unleashed thanks to some bumbling fraternity pledges, whose antics are unwittingly responsible for the transformation of much of their college campus into alien-controlled rotting corpses!  NIGHT OF THE CREEPS is pretty great because it manages to be a solid, standalone B-movie while simultaneously tipping its hat to conventions of the genre; for instance, it’ll be hard to miss the many genre references littered throughout the film, particularly characters’ familiar last names (Romero, Cronenberg, Landis, Raimi, Carpenter) and their chosen institute of higher learning (Corman University).  As if you weren’t already convinced, bear in mind the director, Fred Dekker, was also director and co-writer of another vaunted entry in the hallowed halls of horror, THE MONSTER SQUAD.

NIGHT OF THE COMET – This cult classic drops two Valley girls dead center in the zombie apocalypse, a side effect of a nearby comet reducing the majority of Earth’s population to red dust.  It’s a bit of an aside to DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS, where anyone worldwide witnessing a spectacular nighttime meteor shower mysteriously loses their eyesight the following day, rendering the planet susceptible to invasion by horrible plant-like beings.  NIGHT OF THE COMET was poorly marketed upon its release in 1984, packaged as something of a teen comedy rather than emphasizing the horror/science fiction elements.  Whether intended or not, seeing the rampant materialism of the ‘80s clash tonally with apocalyptic nihilism makes for a pretty good time. 

SHOCK WAVES – You self-appointed horror aficionados may have changed your sopping wet pantaloons when Norwegian horror flick DEAD SNOW hit the scene, promising Nazi-uniformed zombies, but SHOCK WAVES predates the living dead of the Third Reich by thirty-two years.  Genre icon Peter Cushing is a former SS officer living on a remote tropical island surrounded by his former soldiers, all the subjects of nefarious Nazi experimentation imbuing them with ghastly countenances and the ability to remain submerged underwater indefinitely.  Naturally, a crew of young, nubile, tight-bodied party-goers ends up marooned on the island, all slowly hunted by the water-logged corpse-soldiers while trying desperately to figure out how to escape.  Unsurprisingly, SHOCK WAVES doesn’t quite move at a clipped pace, and Cushing’s role is only slightly better than a glorified cameo (though he fares better than similarly top-billed John Carradine), but the film does offer some creative imagery … and by that, I mean zombie Nazis rising from the ocean waves.  They may be history’s greatest monster, but they sure do make great bad guys, don’t they?

DEAD & BURIED – A criminally underrated, enormously atmospheric, immensely frightening, and thoroughly satisfying horror film from the early ‘80s.  The quiet, fog-wrapped Maine town of Potter’s Bluff is spontaneously beset with gruesome murders, and the local sheriff is at loss to explain who – or what – could be responsible.  Unfortunately, what the sheriff doesn’t know can hurt him; the murders are being committed by the very citizens of Potter’s Bluff he sees everyday, the men and women who run the town, serve his coffee, attend to hospital patients, and perhaps even share his bed.  I can’t stress enough about satisfying DEAD & BURIED is, particularly because it uses dramatic irony so very well; we get to witness the murders being committed, and thus, know who is committing them, yet like the sheriff, we remain unaware as to why.  That simple narrative trick will keep you watching, as if the gorgeously cold cinematography wouldn’t.  One of the writers, Dan O’Bannon, also penned ALIEN, LIFEFORCE, SCREAMERS, and TOTAL RECALL, and Robert Englund, who had yet to don the bladed glove of Freddy Krueger, in a small supporting role, but it’s Jack Albertson as the kindly old mortician who really steals the show.  You may not recognize Albertson’s name, but his face is more than familiar; he is perhaps best known as Uncle Joe from WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, despite a career dating back to 1938 and an Academy Award for his role in the 1968 drama THE SUBJECT WAS ROSES.  Albertson’s eccentric mortician treats his job as an art form, even if he pipes classic big band music out of his hearse.  Seriously, if you’re a horror fan at all, you should seek out DEAD & BURIED with all possible haste.  As the marketing campaign intoned, “It’ll take your breath away … all of it!”

Not unlike Tag Team, so, too, I am back again, so it is in that very spirit that I say “check it, direct it, let’s begin, party on party people, let me hear some noise, DC’s in the house, jump, jump for joy.” 

I was pretty much a DVD slut last week; aside from the horror offerings I previewed in the previous entry, we also got two new volumes of that atrocious X-Men cartoon from the mid-’90s, the second season of the original Transformers cartoon, and the highly anticipated, greatly demanded Blu-Ray disc of Halle Berry’s magnum opus, CATWOMAN.  This week, unfortunately, isn’t one of the more robust new release Tuesday between now and Halloween, but Rob Zombie’s latest project has, I think, a whole universe of promise.  So, without further ado, here’s the horror movies you can scan the shelves for as of tomorrow:

September 22nd, 2009
- Friday the 13th: The Series – The Final Season – With absolutely no connection whatsoever to that iconic Voorhees kid, this set caps off what I’m told is a tepid, thoroughly conventional series that features a cast of characters seeking to reclaim, piece by cursed piece, a set of diabolical antiques.  Naturally, I’m immediately reminded of a failed television series pilot of the ‘70s, “Collector’s Item,” which featured Vincent Price and Peter Lorre as antique dealers who fought crime in their spare time.  Or maybe the fact one Mr. Straker and his associate, Mr. Barlow, quietly move into the town of Jerusalem’s Lot under the auspices of antique dealers?  Of course, there isn’t anything quite so interesting in this middling series; cursed items include a leg-healing wheelchair, a hearing aid that grants the power of telepathy, a tea set that magically poisons its contents, and, in the time-hopping finale, a painting that plunges viewers into France circa the Age of Enlightenment.  Nothing, however, could beat the season two episode that featured a murderous ventriloquist dummy animated by the pink boutonniere of Adolf Hitler.  I know, I know, I’m making this sound way more interesting than it actually is, aren’t I?
- Friday the 13th: The Series – The Complete Pack – Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, right?  Admittedly, I don’t quite see the reasoning behind simultaneously releasing the final third season and a complete series pack; that’s usually an opportunity to stagger the releases a few months apart, add a few niggling special features to the complete series pack, and mark up the price for a healthy double-dip profit margin, but I’m sure the fans of the series are just glad to be getting the whole shebang on DVD.  Many television series of yesteryear are not so lucky.
- THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO – Gestating since 2006, Rob Zombie’s animated comedy about a worn-out luchador’s brushes with the mysterious and the occult will finally see the light of day.  Sure, Zombie’s been a bit uneven with his cinematic output – I still think THE DEVIL’S REJECTS is one of the most abysmal films I’ve ever seen in a theatre – but I reckon the format of animation will likely groove better with Zombie’s sensibilities.  Reportedly, the project ballooned from a $500,000 budget to nearly $10 million, garnering the voices of Paul Giamatti, Brian Posehn, Danny Trejo, Rob Paulsen, Ken Foree, Sid Haig, John DiMaggio, Tura Satana, Bill Moseley, Harland Williams, Rosario Dawson, and Clint Howard as well as the talent of former Disney animators whom, by Zombie’s own admission, were thrilled to “get to work on something filthy.”  I don’t know about you, but that’s a pretty glowing endorsement.
- Clive Barker’s BOOKS OF BLOOD – Cinematically speaking, Clive Barker has a tendency to unfairly take it on the chin so to speak; for instance, his involvement with the HELLRAISER franchise ended after the second sequel, and whatever your opinion of MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, it is undeniable that the studio behind it unceremoniously with seemingly without provocation dumped the film what can easily be described as “fiscally negligent,” to say the least.  BOOKS OF BLOOD combines elements from two of Barker’s stories: first, the titular sanguine tome, and secondly, a yarn called “On Jerusalem Street.”  It had a premiere on SyFy (ugh, what terrible rebranding) this past weekend, so take that for what it’s worth.  Fans of Clive Barker aren’t likely to be disappointed, though, provided they’ve seen RAWHEAD REX.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone – least of all, hardened horror fans – the studios’ home video departments love to unceremoniously dump genre fare onto DVD right around Halloween. So, I thought I’d make a quick, easy guide to the highlights of this fall’s horror releases … which is to say I’ve opted to omit the softcore flicks and the direct-to-video garbage.  And, instead of a quick, easy guide, it’s coming through in installments.  What can I say?

So, here’s part one of our guide to Halloween DVD releases, replete with my shining commentary.  Got any questions?  Want to tell me how much of a chump I am?  Leave me a comment, fools!

September 8th, 2009
- MAD MONSTER PARTY: Special Edition - It’s a stop-motion animation mash-up of THE MONSTER SQUAD and Rankin/Bass’ previous holiday-themed specials, e.g. THE YEAR WITHOUT A SANTA CLAUS, not to mention voicework by Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller and a script penned by MAD magazine creator Harvey Kurtzman.  Strangely, MAD MONSTER PARTY was initially promoted – and indeed, the opening title sequence bears the punctuation in question – with a question mark affixed; that is, MAD MONSTER PARTY?  I’ve never been quite clear on exactly what is being asked, but considering the premise of the film is that all of the monsters gather at Baron von Frankenstein’s isolated castle to celebrate his apparent advances in splitting the atom, I’d say it probably isn’t all that important.

September 15th, 2009
- Universal Horror: Classic Movie Archive (THE BLACK CAT/HORROR ISLAND/MAN MADE MONSTER/NIGHT MONSTER/CAPTIVE WILD WOMAN) – Now here’s an odd but welcome assemblage of classic horror.  Correction: per the comments on this post, THE BLACK CAT featured in this boxed set is not the Edgar G. Ulmer directed 1934 version, but a ‘41 thriller featuring Bela Lugosi and Basil Rathbone.  Major props to Filmcans for the correction!   Supposedly, Universal churned out HORROR ISLAND with little cost to the studio, and they presumably saved on creative labor given the plot: a group of disparate treasure-seekers congregate on a lonely island only to become the prey of a methodic killer.  MAN MADE MONSTER sees Lon Chaney Jr. as an electricity-immune man whose powers grow exponentially with the unwanted assistance of mad scientist Lionel Atwill, who is intent on creating an army of electrified zombie soldiers.  Despite top billing, Lionel Atwill and Bela Lugosi have small roles in NIGHT MONSTER, the story of a mystic killer stalking a small, swampy town.  CAPTIVE WILD WOMAN is a totally awesome, semi-exploitation film about a gorilla who, upon receiving a human gland transplant, transforms into a human woman … but with all the appetites and savagery of a gorilla.  The title character is played by Acquanetta, nicknamed “The Venezuelan Volcano” – if that doesn’t sell you on CAPTIVE WILD WOMAN, I don’t know what will. 

- The Wes Craven Collection (THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW/SHOCKER/THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS) – Building a collection of Wes Craven films is pretty much ignoring the elephant in the room that is the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET series, to say nothing of the cult classic SWAMP THING.  These are three wildly different films; the first is a very loose adaptation of anthropologist Wade Davis’ journey to Haiti in search of what would eventually be known as tetradotoxin, the second a Mitch Pileggi vehicle about a serial killer endowed with fantastic abilities thanks to the electric chair and the involvement of Satan, and lastly, a twisted fairy tale of Reaganomics and incest featuring a young Ving Rhames.  For my money, Craven’s best film to date remains the original THE HILLS HAVE EYES, but at least this collection doesn’t including the middling VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN.

- The John Carpenter Collection (THEY LIVE/THE THING/PRINCE OF DARKNESS/THE VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED) – Now here’s a damn fine collection of horror films.  Sure, I’m not a fan of Carpenter’s THE VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED remake, but Carpenter’s work doesn’t get much better than THEY LIVE, THE THING, and PRINCE OF DARKNESS.  I know it’s something like heresy to say, but as good as THE THING is, I still think THEY LIVE is the better film simply for the absolutely ham-handed, on-the-nose delivery of Carpenter’s message of distrust and distaste for an increasingly corporatized, bottom line-driven hyper-Capitalist culture driven by a wealth-obsessed elite … even if Carpenter’s elite is a consortium of skinless aliens from a far-flung galaxy parading as humans.  You can’t beat the priceless “Rowdy” Roddy Piper bellowing “I came here to chew gum and kick ass … and I’m all out of gum.”  THE THING is one of the finest remakes ever undertaken, a film that absolutely endures on atmosphere and Rob Bottin’s gruesome special effects; the film had an unfortunate theatrical shelf life given the fact it was released against another alien film, E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL.  And PRINCE OF DARKNESS is just a weird, at times incomprehensible stew of quantum physics, religion, and Alice Cooper as a homeless puppet of Satan.  If they had only replaced THE VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED with Carpenter’s superbly dark love letter to H.P. Lovecraft, IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS, this collection would be the DVD equivalent of the Triforce.

- Monster Force, Volume One - Does no one else remember this short-lived cartoon of the mid-’90s?  Admittedly, it wasn’t around for all that long; “Monster Force” lasted thirteen episodes, seven of which are on this first volume, but nonetheless, it’s about a team of do-gooders in the year 2020 who use advanced weaponry and technology to protect the world from Count Dracula and his marauding henchmen.  Hell, this cartoon warranted an equally short-lived toy line, too.  Well, here’s hoping for the second volume sometime in the months to come, yeah?

- Dark Shadows: The Vampire Curse - ”Dark Shadows” may be a soap opera, but I give it something of a de facto pass considering it was a highly popular day time show that featured mincing, growling vampires, time travel, ghosts, werewolves, the living dead, and a parallel dimension.  Ostensibly, “Dark Shadows” will be returning to the limelight via a major motion picture remake with director Tim Burton at the helm and Johnny Depp taking up the mantle of Barnabus Collins, the grandiose vampire whose story lies at the center of this collection of episodes.

- Dark Shadows: The Haunting of Collinwood - Another collection of the “Dark Shadows” soap opera, this time an arc detailing a spirit haunting the comely estate of Collinwood.  Nowadays, “Dark Shadows” tends to play a bit like dinner theatre, somewhat boorish and too self-serious, but the sensibilities of the Hammer horror films actually combine a little too well with the melodrama of typical afternoon pablum like “All My Children.”  After all, I’d pay to see Susan Lucci to be attacked by a horde of the undying dead … wouldn’t you?

- GRACE - Yikes.  This Anchor Bay release focuses on a stillborn child that strangely “comes to life” with an appetite for blood.  Between this and the IT’S ALIVE Collection, if you don’t get your fill of nefarious newborns, you might consider therapy!

- The IT’S ALIVE Collection (IT’S ALIVE, IT LIVES AGAIN, IT’S ALIVE III: ISLAND OF THE ALIVE) – Hey, if you love one movie about a bloodthirsty mutant baby run amok, you’re gonna love three.  Besides, you owe it to yourself to see Larry Cohen’s cult classic follow-up to HELL UP IN HARLEM, right?

- KING KONG ESCAPES - Toho introduced their King of the apes to the silver screen not from Universal’s classic film, but an animated series popular in both the States and Japan.  Kong battles his arch-nemsis, a mad scientist named Doctor Who (presumably of no relation to the TARDIS-inhabiting Brit), and grapples with his most fearsome foe, an enormous metal doppleganger called Mechani-Kong.  Folks, I’m prepared to say, here and now, that if I ever get a tattoo, it will definitely be of Mechani-K0ng.  He’s a towering robotic monkey able to shoot lasers from his eyes.  It’s a good thing I didn’t know about Mechani-Kong when I was six, because I probably would have just jumped off a building, content that I would never again know anything in this life as inconceivably awesome as Mechani-Kong.

- KING KONG VERSUS GODZILLA - Clash of the Titans!  And, of course, by “Titans,” I mean “Asian men in ill-fitting, smelly, hot rubber suits stumbling into one another on a soundstage.”  I kid, though; KING KONG VERSUS GODZILLA is to Japanese giant monster movies (or, if you’re Japanese, kaiju) what the Golden Corral is to the morbidly obese: an opportunity to glut yourself to near-sickness heights on all of your favorite things!  You’ve not only got the two title characters battling it out, but you get to see Kong punch a giant octopus, get drunk and pass out like a freshman Sigma Chi, Kong get shocked with electricity more often than an unsupervised toddler in a power station, and Kong suffer the abject disrespect of being forcibly intoxicated, bound, and transported via giant balloons.  The film’s end leaves the victor somewhat ambiguous, but an inarguable truth is that history has been kinder to Godzilla than his primate nemsis, and this film might very well have been the reason for that … Peter Jackson notwithstanding.

- Universal Legacy Series: THE WOLFMAN - This special edition of the 1941 horror classic – preceeded by special editions of Browning’s DRACULA and Whale’s FRANKENSTEIN as part of their 75th anniversary – arrives to herald the February theatrical release of the remake.  This special edition features a host of features including a Kenneth Branagh-narrated documentary, featurettes on Lon Chaney Jr. and make-up legend Jack Pierce, and more.  There seems to be some confusion as to when this DVD will be released; although scheduled for September, there’s scuttlebutt Universal will push back the release to February.  Until all of that confusion is ironed out, you can say your prayers at night and hope to get this chance to see Lon Chaney Jr. (an Oklahoma City native!) beaten to death with a cane by his father.  Uh, and I mean Claude Raines, not Lon Chaney Sr.  That would be weird.